I have recently encountered two situations pertaining to this very question. For years I have told myself “whether you fancy the man or not, take the compliment and know there is someone who finds you appealing.” Why, then, do I struggle with this coping mechanism when it comes to the elusive age gap?
About a month ago I met The German (name explanation forthcoming!) and we decided to meet for brunch on a Saturday afternoon. He told me he was forty-six years old. Honestly, he could pass for younger. Took care of himself physically. Balding, but not surprised considering his age. Had all of his teeth, at least the ones visible when smiling. Then came the blitzkrieg of information. His father was a veteran of World War II. In fact, his father met his mother while stationed in Germany (get the nickname reference!?).
Admittedly I suck at math. But, as a self-proclaimed history dork, I knew something was amiss. World War II ended in 1945. That is a full seventy years ago! In addition, when I asked about his short term and long term goals, The German laughed and promptly changed the subject.
Upon exiting the restaurant, we agreed to a second date, even though my sixth sense was screaming. About an hour after the date, The German called me.
He stumbled over his words. I finally told him “It’s OK, just speak.” The German started by explaining “I’m an honest guy. . .” and immediately I knew he was going to admit to lying about his age (doesn’t that contradict his “honest guy” stance???). Then I thought to myself “He’s fifty-two.” A few seconds later, “I’m fifty-two.” Nailed it!
I was at a loss for words and just simply thanked The German for being honest. The next day I text him saying our age difference is too much. My paternal GRANDFATHER was a World War II veteran. My dad is nine years older than The German. His short term plan was retirement. I just couldn’t grasp the idea of dating someone fourteen years older than me.
On the opposite side of the spectrum. This past week a twenty-nine year old attorney has been messaging/texting me. If there are any men reading, why would a twenty-nine year man be interested in a thirty-eight year old woman? This situation, also, doesn’t feel right.
To be continued 🙂
Perhaps I should take advice from Huffington Post’s Amancay Tapia @amancaytapia