Tag Archives: Huffington Post

Should Age Matter?

I have recently encountered two situations pertaining to this very question. For years I have told myself “whether you fancy the man or not, take the compliment and know there is someone who finds you appealing.” Why, then, do I struggle with this coping mechanism when it comes to the elusive age gap?

About a month ago I met The German (name explanation forthcoming!) and we decided to meet for brunch on a Saturday afternoon. He told me he was forty-six years old. Honestly, he could pass for younger. Took care of himself physically. Balding, but not surprised considering his age. Had all of his teeth, at least the ones visible when smiling. Then came the blitzkrieg of information. His father was a veteran of World War II. In fact, his father met his mother while stationed in Germany (get the nickname reference!?).

Admittedly I suck at math. But, as a self-proclaimed history dork, I knew something was amiss. World War II ended in 1945. That is a full seventy years ago! In addition, when I asked about his short term and long term goals, The German laughed and promptly changed the subject.

Upon exiting the restaurant, we agreed to a second date, even though my sixth sense was screaming. About an hour after the date, The German called me.

He stumbled over his words.  I finally told him “It’s OK, just speak.” The German started by explaining “I’m an honest guy. . .” and immediately I knew he was going to admit to lying about his age (doesn’t that contradict his “honest guy” stance???). Then I thought to myself “He’s fifty-two.” A few seconds later, “I’m fifty-two.” Nailed it!

I was at a loss for words and just simply thanked The German for being honest. The next day I text him saying our age difference is too much. My paternal GRANDFATHER was a World War II veteran. My dad is nine years older than The German. His short term plan was retirement. I just couldn’t grasp the idea of dating someone fourteen years older than me.

On the opposite side of the spectrum. This past week a twenty-nine year old attorney has been messaging/texting me. If there are any men reading, why would a twenty-nine year man be interested in a thirty-eight year old woman? This situation, also, doesn’t feel right.

To be continued 🙂

Perhaps I should take advice from Huffington Post’s Amancay Tapia @amancaytapia

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amancay-tapia/older-womanyounger-man-and-why-age-has-nothing-to-do-with-love_b_6830780.html

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Wanted a Wife. . .Yesterday

I’ve lived in two metropolitan areas throughout my adulthood. Shortly after I moved to the second, current, metro area, I had my first date. Why, ladies, we want a man who wants to commit. But, when they come too easy, we dart?

Since I prefer to protect my date’s names I shall nickname him Anxious Accountant.

The Anxious Accountant and I messaged each other a few times over Match.com. Exchanged phone numbers and text awhile. Then he called me. All of this happened within thirty-six hours. It was obvious he was looking for a serious relationship. Little did I know he was desperately looking for a wife.

Before the date, the Anxious Accountant text me a couple of times to “make sure the date was still on.” I was clearly seeing his desperation. Our one and only date began at a well-reviewed hangout. We engaged in basic dialogue, nothing red-flaggish, yet. We decided to go across the street for dinner. During dinner I learned the Anxious Accountant’s only furnishings in his entire condo is a bed and television. No couch, recliner, plates, utensils, cups. Nope. Nothing. He ate out for every meal. What this man was looking for was a woman to do all the interior decorating because “I don’t like to shop.”

The Anxious Accountant then brought up the issue of marriage. He clearly wanted to settle down; “I’m almost forty. It’s time.” He definitely wanted children; “That’s why I have the extra bedrooms.”

After dinner we walked around the city for awhile. This is when the personal, once-we’re-in-a-committed-relationship style questions came up. He first asked if I had ever cheated on a boyfriend. No, I have not. I volleyed the question back to the Anxious Accountant. When he was in college he did cheat on his girlfriend. But, only once! Then, out of nowhere, “have you ever been with a woman?” I was so taken aback my body snapped at him with a face of total disbelief. No, I have not. I quickly returned the question and asked if he had ever been with a man. The Anxious Accountant seemed surprised I asked such a question. Just trying to be fair, buddy!

The night ended with a friendly hug and goodbye. I text the Anxious Accountant the next day and told him I didn’t think we were a good match.

Am I too conservative of a dater to think his questions were too personal for a first date? Also, did I think too deep when I thought “If the guy is accustomed to rarely being home, would he change once he’s married and has children?” My answer to my own personal question was a resounding “NO!” Too critical?

For an amusing read why men want to be married, check out this link from the Huffington Post written by Taryn Hillin. Number fourteen just might crack you up 🙂

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/10/mens-thoughts-on-marriage_n_5799088.html