Tag Archives: Honesty

Wanted a Baby. . .Yesterday

As mentioned in my previous post “Wanted A Wife. . .Yesterday,” it perplexes me how turned off I am when a man makes his true intentions known too early. Take Baby Daddy for instance. . .

Baby Daddy sent me a simple, polite first message over Match.com. A few days later I replied with a similar response. Baby Daddy’s second message was “So, what’s with your ‘not sure’ opinion on having kids?” If you have never used Match.com, one of the questions on the profile questionnaire is if you have/want children. Obviously,based on what you have already read, I stated “not sure.”

I gave Baby Daddy the same reason Carrie Bradshaw gave Aleksandr Petrovsky on Sex and the City: “I’m 38.”

Baby Daddy’s reply is still a source of laughter among friends and co-workers. He stated he definitely wanted children and wanted to know if I would be open to In Vitro Fertilization. Mind you, I did not say I could not have children. Just simply pointing out I am approaching the age when I truly am not sure if I want children simply because it could put the child at a disadvantage.

I did not know how to respond, therefore, I never did respond.

Am I too critical of men who speak openly so soon? OR, did Baby Daddy go too far too soon?

Perhaps Baby Daddy should read the following article, filled with harsh realities about being an older father, from the Minneapolis Star Tribune written by #TimGihring

http://www.startribune.com/local/yourvoices/297923041.html

Should Age Matter?

I have recently encountered two situations pertaining to this very question. For years I have told myself “whether you fancy the man or not, take the compliment and know there is someone who finds you appealing.” Why, then, do I struggle with this coping mechanism when it comes to the elusive age gap?

About a month ago I met The German (name explanation forthcoming!) and we decided to meet for brunch on a Saturday afternoon. He told me he was forty-six years old. Honestly, he could pass for younger. Took care of himself physically. Balding, but not surprised considering his age. Had all of his teeth, at least the ones visible when smiling. Then came the blitzkrieg of information. His father was a veteran of World War II. In fact, his father met his mother while stationed in Germany (get the nickname reference!?).

Admittedly I suck at math. But, as a self-proclaimed history dork, I knew something was amiss. World War II ended in 1945. That is a full seventy years ago! In addition, when I asked about his short term and long term goals, The German laughed and promptly changed the subject.

Upon exiting the restaurant, we agreed to a second date, even though my sixth sense was screaming. About an hour after the date, The German called me.

He stumbled over his words.  I finally told him “It’s OK, just speak.” The German started by explaining “I’m an honest guy. . .” and immediately I knew he was going to admit to lying about his age (doesn’t that contradict his “honest guy” stance???). Then I thought to myself “He’s fifty-two.” A few seconds later, “I’m fifty-two.” Nailed it!

I was at a loss for words and just simply thanked The German for being honest. The next day I text him saying our age difference is too much. My paternal GRANDFATHER was a World War II veteran. My dad is nine years older than The German. His short term plan was retirement. I just couldn’t grasp the idea of dating someone fourteen years older than me.

On the opposite side of the spectrum. This past week a twenty-nine year old attorney has been messaging/texting me. If there are any men reading, why would a twenty-nine year man be interested in a thirty-eight year old woman? This situation, also, doesn’t feel right.

To be continued 🙂

Perhaps I should take advice from Huffington Post’s Amancay Tapia @amancaytapia

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amancay-tapia/older-womanyounger-man-and-why-age-has-nothing-to-do-with-love_b_6830780.html