Tag Archives: Children

Wanted a Baby. . .Yesterday

As mentioned in my previous post “Wanted A Wife. . .Yesterday,” it perplexes me how turned off I am when a man makes his true intentions known too early. Take Baby Daddy for instance. . .

Baby Daddy sent me a simple, polite first message over Match.com. A few days later I replied with a similar response. Baby Daddy’s second message was “So, what’s with your ‘not sure’ opinion on having kids?” If you have never used Match.com, one of the questions on the profile questionnaire is if you have/want children. Obviously,based on what you have already read, I stated “not sure.”

I gave Baby Daddy the same reason Carrie Bradshaw gave Aleksandr Petrovsky on Sex and the City: “I’m 38.”

Baby Daddy’s reply is still a source of laughter among friends and co-workers. He stated he definitely wanted children and wanted to know if I would be open to In Vitro Fertilization. Mind you, I did not say I could not have children. Just simply pointing out I am approaching the age when I truly am not sure if I want children simply because it could put the child at a disadvantage.

I did not know how to respond, therefore, I never did respond.

Am I too critical of men who speak openly so soon? OR, did Baby Daddy go too far too soon?

Perhaps Baby Daddy should read the following article, filled with harsh realities about being an older father, from the Minneapolis Star Tribune written by #TimGihring

http://www.startribune.com/local/yourvoices/297923041.html

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Wanted a Wife. . .Yesterday

I’ve lived in two metropolitan areas throughout my adulthood. Shortly after I moved to the second, current, metro area, I had my first date. Why, ladies, we want a man who wants to commit. But, when they come too easy, we dart?

Since I prefer to protect my date’s names I shall nickname him Anxious Accountant.

The Anxious Accountant and I messaged each other a few times over Match.com. Exchanged phone numbers and text awhile. Then he called me. All of this happened within thirty-six hours. It was obvious he was looking for a serious relationship. Little did I know he was desperately looking for a wife.

Before the date, the Anxious Accountant text me a couple of times to “make sure the date was still on.” I was clearly seeing his desperation. Our one and only date began at a well-reviewed hangout. We engaged in basic dialogue, nothing red-flaggish, yet. We decided to go across the street for dinner. During dinner I learned the Anxious Accountant’s only furnishings in his entire condo is a bed and television. No couch, recliner, plates, utensils, cups. Nope. Nothing. He ate out for every meal. What this man was looking for was a woman to do all the interior decorating because “I don’t like to shop.”

The Anxious Accountant then brought up the issue of marriage. He clearly wanted to settle down; “I’m almost forty. It’s time.” He definitely wanted children; “That’s why I have the extra bedrooms.”

After dinner we walked around the city for awhile. This is when the personal, once-we’re-in-a-committed-relationship style questions came up. He first asked if I had ever cheated on a boyfriend. No, I have not. I volleyed the question back to the Anxious Accountant. When he was in college he did cheat on his girlfriend. But, only once! Then, out of nowhere, “have you ever been with a woman?” I was so taken aback my body snapped at him with a face of total disbelief. No, I have not. I quickly returned the question and asked if he had ever been with a man. The Anxious Accountant seemed surprised I asked such a question. Just trying to be fair, buddy!

The night ended with a friendly hug and goodbye. I text the Anxious Accountant the next day and told him I didn’t think we were a good match.

Am I too conservative of a dater to think his questions were too personal for a first date? Also, did I think too deep when I thought “If the guy is accustomed to rarely being home, would he change once he’s married and has children?” My answer to my own personal question was a resounding “NO!” Too critical?

For an amusing read why men want to be married, check out this link from the Huffington Post written by Taryn Hillin. Number fourteen just might crack you up 🙂

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/10/mens-thoughts-on-marriage_n_5799088.html