Tag Archives: Carrie Bradshaw

Wanted a Baby. . .Yesterday

As mentioned in my previous post “Wanted A Wife. . .Yesterday,” it perplexes me how turned off I am when a man makes his true intentions known too early. Take Baby Daddy for instance. . .

Baby Daddy sent me a simple, polite first message over Match.com. A few days later I replied with a similar response. Baby Daddy’s second message was “So, what’s with your ‘not sure’ opinion on having kids?” If you have never used Match.com, one of the questions on the profile questionnaire is if you have/want children. Obviously,based on what you have already read, I stated “not sure.”

I gave Baby Daddy the same reason Carrie Bradshaw gave Aleksandr Petrovsky on Sex and the City: “I’m 38.”

Baby Daddy’s reply is still a source of laughter among friends and co-workers. He stated he definitely wanted children and wanted to know if I would be open to In Vitro Fertilization. Mind you, I did not say I could not have children. Just simply pointing out I am approaching the age when I truly am not sure if I want children simply because it could put the child at a disadvantage.

I did not know how to respond, therefore, I never did respond.

Am I too critical of men who speak openly so soon? OR, did Baby Daddy go too far too soon?

Perhaps Baby Daddy should read the following article, filled with harsh realities about being an older father, from the Minneapolis Star Tribune written by #TimGihring

http://www.startribune.com/local/yourvoices/297923041.html

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Suicidal Journalist

I have a propensity to give my dates descriptive names once I realize a relationship is not meant to be. This particular man obtained his nickname by combining an unfortunate event in his life and his occupation. Here’s the story. . .

I met the Journalist on Match.com. He reached out to me first via message. After exchanging a few messages we decided to exchange phone numbers. After a few texts and one phone call, we decided to meet in person. We went bowling and drinks on our first date. I found the evening enjoyable and fun. The Journalist had a great sense of humor, easy to talk to and aesthetically pleasing to the eyes. While having drinks, I noticed a tattoo on his right forearm. There was a date, a recent date. When I inquired about the significance of the date the Journalist replied “That’s for a third or fourth date conversation.” That’s settled, I was definitely going on a second and third date with this guy. What can I say; I’m innately curious!

Second date, the Journalist and I attended a hockey game and had drinks afterwards. By this point I was realizing there wasn’t any chemistry between us. But, it was only the second date and now my friends and co-workers were on the sidelines waiting to hear the story of the tattoo.

Third date, we met at a local brewery. We talked for awhile and it was even more apparent the Journalist was going to end up in the Friend Zone. Just no chemistry. No spark. Or, as Carrie Bradshaw said, “no stomach flip.” Finally, when I was ready to leave, for good, I asked to know the story behind the date on his tattoo. My good readers, here it is. . .

The Journalist was married, had two daughters. Following the divorce, his wife was granted custody of the children. Shortly after the divorce he began dating a woman in another city. When he thought the relationship was getting serious he asked the woman to move to be closer to him. She declined. This led to a suicide attempt with the help of good friend Jim Beam and prescription medication. He woke up in the hospital the next day. That is the date tattooed on his forearm. Remember when I said it was a recent date?

Aside from knowing I was not interested in furthering our relationship, I was now convinced this man was too fragile for me. Yes, divorce and rejection are extremely stressful. Life is stressful. All our lives we are told there are trials and tribulations. Peaks and valleys. Good times and bad times. Lemons needing to be turned into lemonade. Whatever cliche` you prefer. This man clearly wasn’t interested in making lemonade. He didn’t want to go to trial. This woman needs a man who can face adversity like David, like Rosa Parks, like the Tuskegee Airmen.

And, from time to time, knows how to make lemonade.

This, by far, was not the worst of the dates I have experienced. In fact, for some hysterical online dating debacles, check out this Buzzfeed article by Spencer Althouse: http://www.buzzfeed.com/spenceralthouse/i-will-be-single-forever#.wwAvVpMn6.